My THOUGHTS on the FIFTY SHADES TRILOGY!

Let me warn you that this post will definitely be shallow, if you are looking for a deep mind-boggling read then turn somewhere else :)

 

First let me start by saying that it has been awhile since I last read a book from cover to cover, the past years I’ve been reading mostly books on Beauty and Parenting. Last October Veegee and I went on a trip to visit my dear friend who lives abroad and just when we were about to head back home she hands me three books and then she whispered to me “READ THESE BOOKS!”then she shoves them into my hand carry! I’ve heard about the book FIFTY SHADES of GREY but I never truly listened as to what it was all about. So for three months the books sat on my reading table the whole time I was thinking it was similar to Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons both books which I thoroughly enjoyed reading. It was the same friend who lent me those books too so I thought ok someday when I have the time. A few months ago I finally found the time! Yes it took me around eight weeks to finish the three books, I am a mother and a wife and a business owner so I tend to get distracted. :)

Now that I’ve finally finished all three books I am ready to give my honest, untainted and surely unsolicited review. I truly felt that the books were poorly written, definitely not because I’m an expert writer but because I’ve read enough Danielle Steel and Mills and Boon books in my late teens and early twenties that I feel are so much more well-written than the Fifty Shades trilogy. Maybe EL James was a fan of Danielle Steel that’s why Anastasia’s last name is “Steele!” There were times I felt the “encounters” were on replay mode, especially if you’ve read about Ana crashing into a million pieces countless times and Christian convulsing with pleasure as he calls out her name, and how the foil packets were ripped what seems like hundreds of times. How Ana or Christian is pressed against a wall somewhere, and how he wants Ana NOW with her lip-biting and eye rolling! Also what’s with the inner goddess and her subconscious doing all sorts of reactions and all possible dance moves??

But I do get it; they are truly, madly and deeply in love that’s why. EL JAMES had to make that clear in all the scenes where Ana is asked if she would ever leave, or if she would run or not. Even if it was“poorly” written the writer knew what the readers want and she hands it to them many many times in different ways imaginable. I guess that’s why the books are best sellers.

 I could go on and on but what I’m trying to say is that REPEATEDLY it gets old and dragging  that there were times I found myself skipping the Christian and Anna“encounters” since they were way too many and way too similar.

Also I would have appreciated it if they included pictures of the sex toys they mentioned on the book much like what DAN BROWN did with his ambigrams. So at least the reader had an idea of what they were talking about every time they were in the RED ROOM of PAIN.

What I loved about the book though was the two leading characters Christian and Ana; how perfect and how god-like they were and how they were truly made for each other. Ana for me is the ulta-modern Cinderellaall innocent and naïve. I loved how she was totally shocked when she is welcomed into the world of bondage, spanking and the “PLAYROOM.”  All she accepted with such poise! While the ever handsome and covetable Christian Grey is the alpha male Seattle billionaire hunk who’s hauling tons of emotional baggage from his abusive and dark childhood. Yet his soft, kind and loving side is awakened only when he realized that he is in love with Ana. I will stop here and not go into specifics and tell the story bit by bit as it unfolds. I will leave that to you to discover if ever you decide to read the three books.

My time reading the books didn’t entirely go to waste, as I’d like to share the THREE lessons I’ve learned from the Fifty Shades Trilogy:


 

FIRST: Anybody if given enough love, trust and is truly cared for can change his or her ways. That’s what happened to Christian Grey after all the traumatic experiences he encountered as a young child who was neglected and abused. The books showed that anyone is worthy of forgiveness and is capable of shifting from the darkest of darks to the light. Even Grey.

SECOND: I thank God I am normal and living a simple life and not as exceptional looking and HOT as Anastasia Steele is, her hotness and sexiness resulted to so much trouble! Everybody wants her, she can’t live a normal life!  All her guy friends,all the boys around her even her boss want to either take advantage of her, make a pass at her, date her, and eventually hurt her. I think even Taylor the security guy had a hidden desire thing going on for Ana! That’s how HOT she is and she doesn’t even know it!

THIRD: If the book sold millions and millions of copies world wide then a possible venture into the “INTIMATE TOYS” industry would surely be a profitable business! The sad truth here is sex really sells!

I truly believe that there will never be a movie adaptation of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, why you ask? Because if they ever did the film how the heck will they categorize it without it turning into a PORN FLICK!?! Also they will never have enough material to work with since I feel that if you remove all the “steamy encounters” that Christian and Ana had in the book you will be left with just around fifty pages on non-sexual events to work with.

But IF ever the books make it to the big screen I would love to see Matt Bomer or Ian Somerholder as Christian Grey and Emma Stone or Mila Kunis as Ana Steele

Matt Bomer is the perfect Christian Grey! With his dark hair and perfect handsome face I don't care if he is gay! He is HOT and did I say perfect!?! :)
Ian Somerhalder can also be THE great Christian Grey! With those piercing gray eyes and that killer smile how can he go wrong! He is also 27 years old! :)


Emma Stone or Mila Kunis can both be the best Anastasia Steele with their good looks and all American charm as well as their quiet sexyness. Too bad they've both turned down the role. I guess being handcuffed and strapped to a bed countless times and being naked most of the time wasn't their thing. :)

The Fifty Shades trilogy is definitely not for teenagers with its explicit scenes as it thoroughly covers bondage and discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism and all that these entail. While the three books certainly are page-turners, they are definitely not literary masterpieces that will last a long time.

Mommy porn it truly is! If you are in need of tips in the sex department then it wouldn’t hurt to read the books you might pickup a new trick here and there. WINK!! : )

My final word on the books.. READ it ENJOY it and then FORGET about it. Don’t ever

spend good money to buy these books! Ask around I’m sure you know someone who’s

read it and is more than willing to part with, lend or share the books with you!

 Attached is a link of pictures I’d like to share that truly entertained me… 29 People Caught Reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” in Public!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW: 29 People Caught Reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” in Public! :) 

XS: What I really and truly wanted to know but was notdiscussed fully in all the three books was how EXACTLY did Christian Greybecome a BILLIONAIRE at such a young age!! While at the same time he knows how to play classical piano, speak French, knows how to fly, sail and go gliding and be an expert in kickboxing. Then run all his multi-national companies be an environmentalist and a philantropist and still have a secret life with his 15 subs not counting Elena his mentor..everything he mastered in just 27 years! Wow! HE must truly be an alien of some sort!! :)

Oh well… LATERS BABY!!

TO my dear friend JMU: Thanks for lending me these books and screwing up my views on intimacy... if at least for the many laugh fests and fun times we've shared talking about these books the time I've spent reading them made it worth my while. Veegee would like to thank you too, he feels I will be more open to try new stuff because of the books.. which I am still deeply considering up until now hehe! Who shall we punish next by lending them these books!?! :) --- VIC