Sunday, February 16, 2014

How We KEEP the LOVE ALIVE in our Marriage!


It's the middle of February and love is in the air! Valentine's 2014 truly was a big deal and a huge success based on my Facebook timeline and the traffic we all endured this weekend! So I figured I'd write a post all about LOVE and how to keep it alive in a marriage.

Yes, I know I’ve only been married for six short years! So why am I here giving tips on how to keep the love alive in a marriage? It’s because I acknowledge that a good marriage is something you need to work on. I believe that when you get married it doesn’t mean you should relax and think that everything is already laid out for you. I’m definitely not a marriage guru; I am just simply sharing my own experience and how my husband and I TRY to keep the love alive in our marriage. 
 
A favorite uncle once told me, “before you marry someone think of his WORST TRAITS and multiply those a thousand times! If after realizing this you still want to spend your life with him, then marry that man, you will be happy forever! 

Our college prom and our wedding day! :) We were in a  boyfriend and girlfriend relationship for 10 years before we took the plunge!

So here it goes, this is how my husband and I TRY to keep the LOVE ALIVE in our marriage:

1.    We go out on “mini-dates” You need to designate quality time with your loved one. Don’t take for granted that he or she will always be there when you want them. If you can’t get away; you can still set a date at home, after the children are asleep. The important thing is to have fun together and spend time together. 
 

Simple mini-dates make us happy! :)
2.    We still say please, thank you and I love you. These are simple words and yet in a marriage they are often forgotten.
 
 
3.    We still kiss and hug each other often. We also still hold hands as much as we can.
 
4.    We bring home surprise “pasalubongs” to each other. These pasalubongs doesn’t have to be big-ticket items, it can be as simple as a pint of ice cream or a little something from the bookstore. 

 
 
5.    It’s in the little things that we do for each other when I feel I am most loved. One example would be when Veegee would always make sure a backup roll of tissue is nearby every time the tissue in our tissue holder is almost finished. Or when I hand him his vitamins and a glass of water every night because he always forget to take his meds. These small acts of kindness mean so much when you’ve been together for so long.
 


He bought me my favorite milktea!! :)
 
6.   RESPECT. For  everything that we both do and how we do things and look at things differently.
 
7.   We still talk and never get tired of telling stories. I’ve heard about Veegee’s high school life hundreds of times but I still take the time to listen to him when he is on a roll. The night I gave birth to Miguel we were talking and telling stories till 4am and then we went straight to the hospital. The fact that we both didn't get any sleep made Miguel's birth story even more special.
 



8.    In this hi-tech and fast paced world; receiving an email, text or FB comment from my husband still brightens up my day. A phone call from Veegee just asking me how my day is or where I’m at makes me feel loved and cherished.
 
 
9.   Laughter! Sometimes Veegee and I would laugh about something so simple, yet it makes me so happy! I am reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place. 

 

Happy times with my Veegeeboy! :)
 
10.  Appreciation, not just for each other but also for what we have; instead of concentrating on what else we want. Sometimes Veegee and I talk about how we are already blessed and lucky  to be given what we already have and not always wish for things we don’t have.
 
 
11.  We eliminate the negative. In a marriage there will always be negative people around you, negative feelings, negative vibes and all things negative! We try as hard as we can to not let these people and feelings enter or affect our marriage.
 
12. WE FIGHT! Yes you read it right WE FIGHT and let each other know how we feel. Keeping it all bottled up inside builds resentment and regret. Talking it out is good but deliberately hurting your partner’s feelings won’t help; so choose your words wisely! Don’t let anger take over and be careful of what you say! You can never take back painful words, they will always float around between you and your partner.
 
13.  We keep everything INSIDE the MARRIAGE!  When you are having troubles with your partner don’t announce it to the world and let everyone in on your problems! This usually make matters worse than they really are. I’ve read FB posts on how a wife suspects her husband is cheating on her. Or the wife asking which signs to look for so she can catch her cheating husband?!! Hello, talk about airing your dirty laundry!
 
14.     TRY to keep things interesting when it comes to intimacy. It is part of the glue that keeps a marriage going strong year after year. It helps you feel more connected to your partner as well as cared for and comforted. Plus it should be fun! :)
 
15.     Never compare! The perfect “marriage poison” is the poison of comparing lives. There will always be “BETTER” people around, they will seem more in love, richer, happier, and having a better time together. The truth is you never know what is going on behind closed doors. Comparing is never healthy. It eats away at our happiness and strips us of appreciation for all the things we have.
 
16.     Take care of yourself . You don’t have to look like the way you did when you first met, but you can take measures to look just as good if not better! Sometimes when the kids come and family life takes over we forget to take care of ourselves, our health and how we look. Exert some effort so you can feel good about yourself!
 
17.     My husband  and I both know our marriage is blessed by GOD and that we vowed to take care of each other and be together against all odds. We know that when we got married we didn’t just sign a piece of paper but we made a promise we both should keep. 


With our boys! A simple family picture isn't possible when you have two very active boys! :)



In the end I am lucky I found someone who has a kind heart and someone who understands me inside and out. Veegee and I were talking the other night and out of nowhere he told me that we’ve already known each other HALF of our lives.


 We met each other when we were both just 17 years old! He was obviously amused and I told him it doesn’t feel like it has been 18 years! We don’t have a perfect marriage but we try our best  to make things work and in the end if you really think about it; won’t a perfect marriage be boring?!


Being married definitely isn’t easy! The best advice I could give any single person out there would be, to definitely choose wisely!  Forever is a long time to spend with someone you hate. :)

Vicvic and Veegeeboy! :)

3 comments:

  1. Vic's very nice read! It's wonderful to know a lovely couple like you and Veegee, keep the love alive! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Haidee!! Thanks so much, we try our best :) Congrats on the new baby!! :)

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